5 tips to give firm feedback to a good team member

It might have happened to you – you are hardworking – always giving the best of yourself – and usually with good results. Then suddenly your boss hears some negative things about you. And rather than defending you, your boss shows zero loyalty and starts attacking you (perhaps even in public…) … The result? You are disappointed, demotivated, and you start holding grudge against your boss… You even want to take some revenge… If this happened to you, you know how important it is that as a leader to have your team member’s back. Yet, as a leader you also want to give firm feedback.

Here are some tips to give firm feedback ànd be loyal when a great team member is disappointing you.

Express what has been good. When hardworking people don’t feel recognized for their past work, they start feeling angry and don’t listen anymore to what you’re saying . For them, the issue is not what they did badly. The issue is how badly you treated them. Probably not really what you had in mind…
Point out when there is a concern. Focusing on the positive is nice. But of course it’s important to be clear and assertive when things aren’t working the way they should. Letting problems linger too long is a recipe for failure. Clear expectations of what’s ok and what’s not are crucial.
Be very clear that you appreciate your team member. It always helps to make a distinction between the ‘one problem issue’ and the ‘person as a whole’. If you can show appreciation for the person, while at the same time showing concern with a specific situation, chances are much higher you will be heard.
Invite the other party to share their insight on what happened. So often we only know part of the story … there might be circumstances we didn’t know anything about, parts of the story that were cleverly hidden to us, … Allowing your team member to share their side of the story is very often incredibly revealing…
Decide together what’s the best way forward, knowing that the concern absolutely has to be solved. The more your team member can help craft the solution forward, the more they will be motivated to bring it to a good end. But there’s no need to be too naive – show that you count of them – and that you will not accept a bad ending of the situation.