Most of us agree that the ‘best’ bosses are those who are caring AND firm. Yet this combination doesn’t come easy to all. Many leaders don’t like to be tough. When it’s really necessary to speak up, they provide a short, fuzzy improvement suggestion and then quickly move to another subject. No wonder their message doesn’t get across and problems continue to linger on… Here are some tips to help you establish when it is necessary to be more assertive while handling conflict, and how to go about it.
1. Assess the gravity of the problem
One of the reasons people don’t speak up is they haven’t thought the problem through. To do so, it helps to reflect on the current situation and its consequences. What’s good and less good about today? What is the impact on self? On others? On the results to create? Daring to confront what’s at stake makes it easier to speak up.
2. Evaluate if the other person is at stake
A good way to assess whether the other party is part of the problem, is to compare their current performance to standards & norms. Are they living up to what can normally be expected from a good performer? Are they putting in the ‘normal’ mindset and attitude? Having a benchmark helps feeling good about speaking up.
3. Decide on the strategy to adopt
As long as leaders don’t really decide to act, chances are big they won’t. That’s why, one of the most important things to do next is to decide on the course of action. Do you consider there is no issue? Then don’t feel bad about not acting. However, when there is a problem, it’s important to act and to do so fast. In that case, decide to be a true leader, courageous and at cause.
4. Determine how to present the problem
The best and easiest way to present any problem is by being factual. Talk as objectively as possible about the objectives and the current situation. Present data where possible. And explain the impact if nothing changes. Knowing that you have the facts on your side, will make it easier to speak up.
5. Establish how to present the solution
In addition to being clear on the problem, it’s also important to suggest a clear way forward. What is it you expect from the other party? What will you do if nothing changes? How will you help? The clearer you are yourself on this ‘solution forward’, the easier it will be to be firm towards the other.
Regularly apply these 5 tips, and you will notice the positive impact of being firm, both for you and the other party.
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